Showing posts with label families of PTSD victims. Show all posts
Showing posts with label families of PTSD victims. Show all posts

8/6/12

ANNIVERSARY DATES: RELIVING THE TRAUMA OF INJUSTICE AND CORRUPTION

This time of the year is a significant anniversary for me related to the long series of traumas I have experienced in the state of Alaska. Five years ago on 8/4/2007 around midnight just like all dangerous felons (sarcasm) I was listening to a physics lecture from UC Berkeley on line when I had a knock on my door. Considering the conditions I was living in which included hooligans(one of them thought he was a ninja, seriously, he did), meth cooking, lots of drinking, parties with underage girls, threats of physical harm against me, other tenants stealing property out of the lodge/vandalizing (I notified the owners and the state troopers, nothing happened), being told by them, “people around here kill cops, “ state troopers who do nothing (Anchor Point) and a psychopath for a landlord I picked up the Axe handle I had close to my bed before approaching the door. This was one of the two doors to the room I rented in this shabby lodge, the Homestead Lodge B & B (not to be confused with another lodge in AK with a similar name that is respectable). I had barricaded and fixed the other door so it could not be opened. The one being knocked on had a dead bolt, but I kept my handy axe handle close at hand as a back up especially since I had no idea who might have the key. I thought it would be one of the scumbags that lived there or one of their creepy drugged up scumbag associates. It was state trooper Derrick Loop, were they finally going to do something about the problems at that lodge? Why was he there around midnight? As it turned out he had a warrant for my arrest which was totally invalid and issued to retaliate against me by a couple of malfeasant employees of the state of Alaska, ADA John Earthman and Judge Ben Esch. Of all the people at that lodge the one they arrested was the one who was doing nothing wrong and tried to do something about all the criminal activity going on there (significant electronic info supports this). Interesting isn‘t it? After going to extraordinary effort to try to help the owner who turned out to be the biggest scumbag of them all he was able to enlist some fellow scumbags who work for the state of Alaska to help him retaliate against me. In other states I would have been considered a good tenant and righteous, but in Alaska doing the right thing is often wrong because a bully or psychopath frequently has power over the police or some other official agency here. This would not be the last time I experienced severe landlord abuse in this state, in fact it is ongoing.

I am pretty sure officer Loop knew I was not guilty. He told me they investigated the complaint and could find no evidence against me, well, there is a reason for that. He seemed kind of confused, embarrassed and shocked by the warrant. It was all based on a lie, a manipulation, a set up in part to get rid of me as they were pulling an insurance scam and their agent was looking to talk to me (he said they refused to give him my phone number) and to retaliate against me for using the landlord tenant act, there were also my complaints about thefts, including my wallet and much more which the troopers would not allow me to file a police report about even claiming some of it was not against the law. A typical tactic they used to keep people from making them work I found out. Even the public defender agency was stunned by this warrant stating they had never seen anything like it before and didn‘t understand the illogical reasoning behind it. You live in Alaska, you are a lawyer and have never seen the judicial system used for corrupt purposes? The public defender agency had screwed up big time and facilitated the issuing of this warrant by not notifying me of a hearing Judge Esch had scheduled and one would think they would bend over backwards to fix the situation, but no they did everything they could to make the situation worse. BTW, when the PD did not show up for the hearing it was quite obvious there was something wrong with the picture and Judge Esch would have realized I did not know about the hearing. The outcome was planned before the hearing, they were just going through the motions. Was it Earthman and Esch fulfilling the wishes of their overlords in Nome, did their orders come from somewhere higher or are they the two most evil bastards to ever walk the tundra? I wasn’t notified of the hearing by design and had already told Judge Esch that several times in the past I had not been informed of hearings that I barely found out about, his response was, “Well you‘re here now“ and then he probably thought, damn I can‘t put her ass in prison for not showing up, the bitch found out about a secretly scheduled hearing again.

They allowed my property to be stolen/destroyed and my cat starved/tortured by that psychopath, Robin Hume. Psychopaths are easy to come by in Alaska, all Earthman and Esch had to do was wait to get one to assist them. I know these agencies were all ordered to do what they did to cover the state‘s lack of enforcing even basic health care regulations. They wanted to frighten me into shutting up, but it has not worked yet. I am so sick of Alaska using the, we are all incompetent idiots, excuse as a smoke screen for their corruption. The prosecutor John Earthman had already lied about me on multiple occasions including to the newspaper and multiple times standing in the courtroom. Also with the cooperation of the public defender agency he tried to get me to illegally stay out of state, either due to fear of being exposed for malfeasance, because I was insisting on a trial, because they had no evidence to back up the lies or so they could use not coming back to the state as an excuse for incarceration. A non-corrupt state trooper told me she is sent to the lower 48 to pick up people all the time for such things. Do you think the public defender agency objected even one time to all of Earthman‘s lies? Of course not, but I did and Judge Esch would tell me I had a lawyer. I didn’t really have a lawyer, I had a pawn whose job was to make sure I had no defense. There was never any objection from the public defender agency, they were on the side of the state all along to protect their buddies, the workplace bullies at NSHC. Judge Esch actually told a public defender that I didn’t need to be at a particular hearing and he manipulated to keep it secret from me. They said they had never seen anything like this before either. What kind of judge would do something like that, not an impartial one who believes in due process. You see they had what was going to happen planned out and they all worked to that end. I could have never believed this could happen in the United States, but I have done some research, it does. It was then very puzzling to me that they did not petition for a writ of habeas corpus, instead ignoring my phone calls from the prison for assistance and they did not even tell me which office or incompetent lawyer they employed was representing me for quite some time, that included the director Quinlan Steiner whose office I was calling over and over. He has the secretary lie and say he is not there. I found that out by going to the office and being lied to, then as attorneys leave, “Oh yea, Quin is right back there.” No cajones to face me I guess.

Lack of evidence didn’t matter to ADA Earthman who easily convinced Judge Ben Esch to issue a warrant. They used the lies of a known psychopath. Most judges require evidence, but when you preside over a Kangaroo Court why bother. Judge Esch didn’t like the things I had to say in his court, so he had my hearings in a tiny separate courtroom or scheduled them the last one of the day. They didn’t want all those native people they charge with a large volume of crimes there to hear me, get all uppity and think they were allowed to speak up you know. I was really hoping he would tell me I was out of order so I could use Al Pacino’s line from “And Justice For All”, “You’re out of order…”

Robin and Steve Hume were never arrested for the crimes they committed against me and the state troopers including some higher ups told me what they did was not illegal and it was all a civil matter. Apparently “civil matter” are the most frequent words spoken by troopers out of Anchor Point. Not only are theft (multiple occurrences), filing false police reports, threatening to hurt me, operating businesses without licenses, collecting social security disability while having significant income, staging an insurance scam, allowing tenants to cook meth, allowing people to process fish which were illegally caught and animal cruelty actual crimes the state troopers also destroyed the pictures of my property officer Loop took the night he arrested me so I could not use them for a lawsuit against the state or the creepy Hume brothers. There are other documents that were destroyed as my FOIA request demonstrated. Why? I think it was partially to cover for them not doing their jobs and may have something to do with Robin Hume’s involvement with prostitution which has some ties to Anchorage. Who were they protecting? The cops who were customers, the pimp in Anchorage?

Since my case many of the players have been given promotions, including troopers who lied for them or are keeping their mouths shut, ADA Earthman is now DA Earthman, Judge Esch is now the chairman of the Judicial Commission. He judges the ethics of other lawyers, which just makes me want to vomit. This prevents him from standing for retention for his judgeship in Nome as well. Hmmm wonder who he thought might testify? Then there was the compulsive liar public defender who was chosen to be a magistrate. Yes, I realize Quinlan Steiner may have lied when he said it was all her idea to lie to me for plea manipulation, but she did it no matter whose idea it was. One of the psychopathic workplace bullies at Norton Sound Health Corporation without any education to do the position was appointed as a vice president (she had no education for the original position she had either) by a CEO who seems to actually live in another state. It has been years and I have not gotten a bit of justice. When I make FOIA requests I get only part of the paperwork, three copies of information I don’t need and they just state that is all they have.


Every year I re-live a segment of this long nightmare I have been forced to live in August, you know PTSD and all. It starts on the fourth and goes through most of the month. I reflect on all of those days where I was in 2007 and what was happening including the abuse, anguish and pain, not just mine, but also what I witnessed. Particular corrections staff who were very abusive I can picture in my mind and even remember their voices. I also remember the other incarcerated women and how so many tried to help others including trying to get health care for those who were ill, to no avail. I remember being in a solitary cell in the mental health unit very distraught and the women in the wing next to me getting in their window and jumping up and down while waving frantically to try and cheer me up. They did. 

I remember the shock of being told there was a warrant for my arrest for something I did not do. When I was told it was from Nome how could I then be surprised knowing how corrupt and evil some of the people are. I clearly knew my property would be stolen and vandalized and my cat would be harmed. I remember officer Loop wasn’t going to handcuff me and let me take my laptop and medication in my backpack saying, “…if it was anyone else.” I told him to go ahead and handcuff me or he might get into trouble, so he did. When we drove down the hill Robin Hume‘s van was parked on the side of the road and I knew he would go to the lodge and start stealing my property as soon as he saw us go by. That night I was in the Homer jail and screamed in terror. I still believed the public defender agency would straighten out the whole mess the next day, I did not realize at that point they were complicit. The next day I called Robin Hume from the jail and told him pictures were taken of my property. With a shaky sounding, slight high pitched voice he said, “Those were taken last night.” I knew he had already taken what he wanted and my cat was probably harmed. I called the state troopers, several agencies, the governor’s office and the public defender agency and asked them to stop him over and over. None of them did a thing. I know now it was probably because they were told not to do anything. I called a relative mainly because I could remember his phone number and asked him to ask the animal shelter in Homer to go get my cat ( a simple thing), he did not. He said he could not figure out how to do it, he even had another person who echoed this obvious lie who also could have helped. A small child knows how to call directory assistance or look up a phone number on line. This is why I always lived in another state away from my family. Very sick stuff.


The next day I was told I was going to Nome for a hearing, but instead I was left at Wildwood in Kenai with abusive corrections staff for three days. Then I was put on a plane and told I was going to Nome for a hearing with a female trooper who was very professional and a very nice person, refreshing after the abuse at Wildwood. I was taken to the Anchorage jail for a few hours where I thought I was waiting for a plane to Nome because they told me I was going there, but instead was taken to Hiland Mountain in Eagle River where I was tortured by prison staff, denied medical care and my medication was dangerously abruptly stopped. The worst of the abusers there were medical and nursing staff I found out when I ended up in the mental health unit where I witnessed a very sick woman being chained to the floor, discrimination against a black woman, a starvation diet, basic hygiene was withheld, psychological abuse was constant, and I was placed in a cell with a violent psychotic, probably schizophrenic woman which I have no doubt was done with the hope of my being harmed. I told the nurse it was a dangerous situation and she was very nasty. I however have lots of experience with violent schizophrenics and survived unscathed. She said she was supposed to be at API a month ago according to a judge. When she walked by after going to a hearing she said, “The judge is mad they didn’t take me to API.“ I told her to not believe they were going to start doing the right thing now or ever.

A psychologist presented in the little window to my door the second day and said, I had no mental illness and was just “arrogant and nasty.“ Really? That was his interpretation when I was wrongfully imprisoned, had an idiot psychiatrist DC my meds dangerously, my civil rights were being violated and all the things I was upset about including my cat being harmed, he couldn’t figure out why I was DISTRAUGHT AND PISSED OFF. What a psychologist. Several psychiatrists have diagnosed me with PTSD, which is so obvious anyone who is not trained in psych could diagnose it. Seeing someone for 2 or 3 minutes doesn’t tell you a damn thing, especially considering the state I was in from their medical abuse and being so upset. The psychologists on the outside are not any better on the Kenai Peninsula and are quite indignant as are the social workers if you point out any problems to them. Then they gossip about you, this is very common here.

The ordeal to get a response from the public defender agency was disgusting with lies, incompetence and retaliation. Then later a clueless egocentric comment by one of them that she was tired of “hearing about my frickin cat” made me start thinking I was going to write my story until she actually was made sick by hearing about my “frickin“ cat. How tired of it are you now beatch? When I was released about 26 days later I was dumped in Homer homeless and had court documents saying I could not go to the room where I had lived to get my things or look for my cat. NICE HUH, CONSIDERING I WAS THE VICTIM. I called Robin Hume from the airport. He said he put my things in storage and my cat was at the shelter. He would not tell me which storage unit, so I had to have a taxi drive all over looking for it. A woman at one storage place said she knew something was wrong when he put my stuff in their unit and took me to look at it, about half of it was gone, the rest had been put in the rain and much of it was full of mold. I lost it. I had just come from torture central at Hiland Mountain and had to face this while staying at a very dysfunctional women’s shelter. There was only one animal shelter so I could find my cat and the poor thing was so mentally disturbed from what he did to her at that point they could not clean her cage. She had two carriers and he even stole those just carrying her into the shelter. He told the staff I was going to be in prison for at least six months. Who gave him that specific information, Mr. Earthman? They were surprised I could pick her up. I held her for a couple hours and just cried. She was very ill and I tried to keep her alive for two or three months until it was clear she was too ill and I had her put to sleep. She had liver disease from being starved and would have gastrointestinal bleeds. I had to live in a place as bad as the lodge while I tried to save her. It was also as bad as the women‘s shelter, drugs and crazy behavior.

I was given a court order or warrant to go to the lodge finally when they realized they had screwed up big time. The state trooper who was supposed to assist ME THE VICTIM to get my stolen property instead assisted Robin Hume and would not allow me to do anything to retrieve my property. He told me the judge didn’t know what he was doing and hadn’t given me the right kind of court order. Yes, he did, but that goes along with the games they always play such as telling me crimes I try to report are legal or are civil matters. He carried a grocery bag with a few items that Robin gave him as if I had forgotten them. It was my cameras (because I had the cables in my backpack and he could not sell them) and empty Netflix movie envelopes. I asked Trooper Pelapear (spelling?) if the empty envelopes might not be a clue for him as to what had happened there. I told him my property was probably all over that lodge. When I became upset and told the trooper he was wrong and should be assisting me, THE VICTIM, he threatened to arrest me for disorderly conduct. That bastard, Pelapear has been transferred over here to Soldotna and that does not make me happy. That is just a small segment of my story, related to this anniversary date or wrongful arrest, false imprisonment and having my beloved cat tortured and starved. My property is still in storage in Homer for multiple reasons. All of the monsters who participated in this including the idiots and almost psychopaths who worked on Sarah Palin’s staff who did nothing when I called them to tell this story should have been fired or prosecuted. That includes agency directors and particular commissioners. Later I was told Sarah Palin read a fifty page letter I wrote her about my story, which I of course know did not happened. The state ombudsman asked me angrily what she was supposed to do with the copy I sent her. Hmm, where could she have put it, let me think. If I was a believer I would say they would all burn in hell, but I‘m not, so instead I am keeping my promise to Sarah Palin and her staff to continue to tell my story along with discussing the problems at NSHC in Nome and the racist treatment of the native people by the justice system in that village.

In 2008 I posted a letter to Sarah Palin regarding my wrongful arrest story and this anniversary date. There was no response as there never is in Alaska to any problems with government agencies.

My post in support of Joe McGinnis’ book about Sarah Palin, The Rogue, gives a general overview of the bullying I have experienced in Alaska and why most people are afraid to come forward to give information about corruption here.

2/15/10

PTSD PART 1:THE MILITARY WANTS TO USE THE MENTAL HEALTH PROFESIONALS IN RURAL ALASKA WHO CAN'T EVEN PROVIDE HELP FOR THE CIVILIAN POPULATION

I find it very alarming that the military is planning to use mental health professionals in the rural areas of Alaska to treat the soldiers who have PTSD. I tried to see a psychiatrist five times when I was getting sick with PTSD in Nome. Keep in mind Norton Sound Health Corporation is the only mental health care provider in that area. At that time I was not sure what was going on and had not heard of workplace bullying. A competent doctor would have diagnosed me and told me to get the hell out of there even if he or she had not heard of workplace bullying themselves. The behaviors of the people were an indication that they were trying to harm me and anyone who was there would have know there had already been multiple people they had done this to. What I really needed was an intelligent objective opinion of the situation I was in. This should have been simple, but turned out to be impossible on many levels. Let me repeat the psychiatrist refused to see me FIVE TIMES. The other doctors REFUSED TO GIVE ME MEDICATION, even one I had been on for years which would have helped the PTSD immensely. They even tried to stop me from increasing the dose of the one medication they let me have. They started false, negative rumors to harm me in Nome(from the Behavioral Health Department) about this medication which has been around for decades and is very well known, Trazadone. It was my own knowledge, common nursing sense, experience in psychiatric nursing, and some really good decisions that helped me survive the medical bullying fueled by the ignorance, lies from the serial bullies, and prejudice in that village. If I had not gone against their advice I believe something really bad could have happened. If I had seen a real psychiatrist and gotten treatment I would have never been ARRESTED, WRONGFULLY IMPRISONED and TORTURED by the CORRUPT JUDICIAL SYSTEM in this state, because I would have never had the temporary episode of psychosis that gave them an excuse to suck me into their system of judicial injustice. They would not have affected the death of my cat, the theft of my property, or the long term continuous bullying which made my PTSD worse. Then there is the social worker mafia on the Kenai Peninsula, good God!

I would advise the military to hire contract personnel from the lower 48. I did see some good people in Anchorage this summer, but my experience there is just limited to Providence Hospital which has an inpatient unit I tried to go to from Nome and was not allowed to go. It took me about 3.5 years to finally get to this program, which is excellent. I also saw one practitioner at Community Mental Health in Anchorage who was excellent and I wish was here in Soldotna.



 The next quotes are from an interview by David Kupfer with Edward Tick an expert on PTSD who uses a spiritual approach to healing veterans with PTSD. Tick is a psychologist with a PhD in communication and rhetoric as well as an interfaith minister. I would suggest that anyone interested in the process of healing from PTSD read this article. In other posts I have discussed the process in PTSD before that changes the victim's spiritual beliefs. Healthy humans generally have some kind of spirituality that helps them cope(Religion is not a requirement, spirituality and religion not the same thing). He has an approach to heal this aspect of the disorder. This is what I believe causes radicalization of religion which causes a lot of terrorism and violence in those who have psychological trauma injuries. I also believe Dr. Nadal Hasan was radicalized from PTSD from multiple causes, even though he was never in battle he heard one story after another about what happened in the middle east to our soldiers and the innocent civilians, including war crimes, as well as some trauma personally from other areas.

One element that is making the PTSD of our soldiers worse is the conflict of conscience about harming innocent civilians, the objectives of securing the resources of other countries for the U.S., and fighting unjust wars which destroy countries. If I had been in his place they would have me locked up at one of the ghost sites where they put federal/military whistleblowers to prevent them from talking. Watching others suffering over a long period of time is a cause of PTSD. I don't care what so called experts say for news cameras.


“Veterans need a safety net when they come home from Iraq and Afghanistan,” he says, “so they won’t crash and burn like so many Vietnam veterans did. People in the community should be waiting to catch them.”

Key to the healing process for veterans, he says, is for them to experience the emotions that they could not allow themselves to feel in the war zone and to address the spiritual damage that they suffered during combat.

This is why I write about my own PTSD, it allows me to feel the experiences without actually being in them. Sometimes it causes triggering and flare ups, but I know it will be healing, so I continue. I tried to get counseling in rural Alaska on multiple occasions and it was clearly impossible. Trying to get help from these people who run the community mental health centers in Homer and Soldotna is very traumatizing as well as a waste of energy. I have to do what I can to heal on my own, realizing I do have some permanent changes that can never be healed. I will never be the person I was when I came to Alaska, I consider that a theft perpetrated by sociopaths(Soul Stalkers) at the corporation I worked for, key employees at the public defender agency, the department of law, legislators and the incompetent, corrupt governor who was in place at that time. Many were made aware of the gross injustices in my case and very apparently did not care, even when they were informed as they were being carried out. Perhaps that is due to there being so many people in Alaska in the same situation or even much worse.

All the symptoms of ptsd — substance abuse, domestic violence, sexual promiscuity, child abuse, employment difficulties, intimacy problems, high divorce rates, suicide, homicide — all are epidemic in our population. If we can diagnose an entire culture with ptsd, then the U.S. has it. The illness of the culture may be related to the way we are practicing war against other countries and the planet while denying responsibility for it.

This underlying milder degree of PTSD-ness in our society also contributes to those who have a very acute exposure to trauma getting very ill and the pervasiveness of this societal PTSD-ness makes people in the U.S. think the trauma that causes it and the PTSD-ness are normal. We can't see how much harm is really done because bullying is a part of our culture. Those who end up harmed are seen as weak and they are blamed for the damage done to harm them. Those who do the harming are rewarded with high paying jobs and political positions. Part of the effects come from the way children are bullied at school, people are medically bullied, workplace bullied, and legally bullied, it is the culture that does not recognize the pathology caused by trauma that continues to allow people to be treated this way. Our culture puts many of the worst of us (sociopaths) in positions of power(politically, legally, corporately) and then lets them prey upon us, how sick is that? Employers, especially in corporations understand how to use trauma to harm adversaries, destroy competition, and get rid of particular employees, for example older nurses who cost health care corporations more money. The cost to society is high for many reasons, such as the loss of the most experienced nurses in health care.

Even though we have a justice system in this country it is not working and when people can't get justice in a society some will find their own justice. Part of finding justice for may soldiers could be prosecuting those who sent them to execute actions that were based on lies which they now feel were wrong given later revelations. Soldiers just do what they are told, they are not given rationales, and are punished if their conscience tells them to not follow orders. The lack of justice that we are seeing with regard to corporations, politicians, powerful people, and the wealthy is doing a great deal of harm to people in this country and yes, contributing to the traumatizing of many. Justice heals. Without justice a country will rot from the inside out.

Soldiers are sent into situations which can cause unintended incidents which they would have never have wanted to happen. Dysfunction leads to chaos. Those who have been tormented and have no recourse(justice) may go after their tormentors when they become seriously disturbed. In the U.S. much of the bullying that goes on has been set up by those who bully (military-industrial complex, politicians, judges, attorney generals, and corporations) to be non-prosecutorial, not having any recourse and having to not disclose any information about “incidents“ such as in the military make people sick. PTSD is not a mental illness, but can certainly lead to mental illness when multiple traumas occur over a long period of time, it is the result of psychological trauma and it is not the victim's fault they are ill. Sending soldiers who have PTSD already back into combat has very predictable consequences and the military is very aware of this.

Have you noticed it took the military a long time to "understand" PTSD. Many people have been screaming about the treatment of veterans with it for decades. The soldiers who were affected in WWII, Korea, Viet Nam, previous middle east invasions, and other military actions were basically expected to just deal with whatever harm was done to them. Even though they are known to be ill with PTSD they get minimal treatment and are sent back to combat. They later commit an illegal or violent act in a state of dissociation or temporary psychosis, then they are prosecuted not allowed to use PTSD as a defense(murder or murder/suicide can be one of the consequences of complex PTSD, especially in those trained to kill and see guns as a solution to problems), and the horrible things they witnessed or were ordered to do were denied by the military. The military has a history of minimizing, denying, and lying about harm done to soldiers and the people in the lands they fight in.

Agent Orange, Gulf War Syndrome (organophosphates, depleted uranium, biological weapons, smoke from burning oil wells), PTSD, and other health problems were turned into a joke and used against the soldiers whose health was often affected to the point of death. Gulf War Syndrome even affected some of their families, including offspring. They were already ill and had to go through years and years of misinformation, being seen as malingerers(stigmatizing again of those ill due to service to this country), and fighting to get any help. Most people know Agent Orange from the Vietnam era caused multiple health problems and they were treated the same way. The military likes to call those who have PTSD and commit suicide cowards, this is a myth. Compare them to those at the Pentagon who encouraged the military staff to promote negative thinking about those who have PTSD, like the military encouraged for centuries. Some of the people with negative attitudes about PTSD are actually mental health professionals who know very little about it, but think they are experts. Early interventions can help prevent PTSD or keep it from evolving into a more severe form. Stigmatizing and denial of help for those affected will only compound the situation. Minimizing future trauma is also very important. There is also an effect on the morale of those who have to deal with the problems of their fellow soldiers who have been traumatized when they see them viewed in a negative light. When they have symptoms themselves they do not seek help.