FB August 8th 2015:
Happy Birthday to me from BFS:
OMFG! Last night I was reluctant to even go to the shelter considering
what happened last Friday night and the rest of the week, Patrick
leaving us outside for an hour. Who could think this situation was not
the worst that could happen. We were all lucky because no Spice was
smoked out there. At least I am better at detecting it now. Here is BFS
where all these people with a history of trauma are accumulated and the
place is filled with people who traumatize them more intentionally. So
major PTSD trigger just going to the building and then the risk of
exposure to Spice smoke which has already made me very ill. Pretty
unsafe in so many ways.
Arrived from bus 45 ingoing aka the bus to
hell at about 8:30 PM. Shortly after that the 45 outgoing bus dropped
off only one person, an elderly woman who just like myself has to bring
all of her things with her and she has a crutch, a limp and other health
issues. When I walked to the entrance a woman said she had already been
waiting but who could imagine that her whole wait time would end up
being two hours. She had a walker and her friend walked up, they talked,
she did not appear to be intoxicated. They make people with a certain
level of intoxication, which is purely subjective on their part wait
outside until the alcohol wears off some. One of them said she was
thankful she did not have to stay there last night. People come to
shower and eat, then leave. Those two finally just left.
I stood
there from 8:30 PM until 9:37 PM talking mainly to a psychotic woman who
was making angry comments about a man who was playing a game on his
tablet that he was listening to the radio etc. There was at least
entertainment. I said no he is not, he is playing a game and she argued
with me. She told me I should go to Wasilla and I said no thanks there
are too many Palins there. Then she said Sarah Palin was very honest and
wonderful and all about some negative demon that lives in her head, so
she has to stay positive. I kept saying no Sarah Palin was corrupt. She
said those evil bloggers ran SP off and I just laughed and laughed and
laughed and said, "Those evil bloggers", "Those bastards", "Who could
imagine such people." I almost hurt myself laughing and none of them
knew why. I still can't stop laughing about it. Then told her there
were lots of reasons she quit, but psychopaths always quit in the middle
of everything and they were never doing their job to begin with. They
are in a position of power for other purposes than the work at hand.
You know like getting a kick out of torturing people at a homeless
shelter. She went on about how wonderful the Palin family was. I
mentioned that the abstinence queen was pregnant out of wedlock again by
yet another man. She became quite indignant, "That is their business." I
explained no one would have cared except for the hypocrisy of getting
paid $250,000 to teach abstinence while humping everything that comes
along and really how many times has she been pregnant? It went like that
for a while. I thought better than bringing up the Sarah Palin faked
pregnancy wild ride story. The woman keeps saying sex offenders are
working at the shelter and that Patrick is a sex offender. I say no as
screwed up as they are they would not hire a sex offender, but
psychopaths are A-OK. Then the evil-bitch-woman in me came out and I
said, but Sarah Palin is a sex offender, she sexted my friend's 17 year
old son causing all kinds of problems including having him and his
father imprisoned for telephone harassment of her scumbag lawyers, you
know because the lawyers never harass people or set up scenarios to make
them angry so they can use that to have them arrested for their
overlords. The Secret Service has copies of the text messages, another
FUBARed agency. Then some guy got tired of her and said she probably did
not even vote and she said, "I voted for McGovern." This guy is like,
there have been a few elections since then. LOL. Then she said something
about felons not being able to vote. I said, yes they can. Then got, no
they can't. She goes, well I don't know, I'm not a felon. I say, I am a
felon and I vote. Another woman looks at me shocked. Then I say, yes I
am the most dangerous criminal in Alaska and everyone laughs. Then I
tell a short version of the story and the wrongful arrest and
imprisonment in retaliation for filing an appeal, how I wrote about the
DOC killing people and all the rest with the state government and news
media completely ignoring me.
Impaired people were talking about the
shelter being filled with black mold and that is why everyone has lung
infections. I ask where it is and get no response because I would have
noticed any in any area that is opened to visual access. There is tiny
spot of mold on some tile in the women's bathroom, probably mildew.
Stachybotrys is very toxic and makes people really sick so I want to see
this mold, but assume they are speculating. After we got in I asked
them where is the mold and they said in the vents. "How do you know?" No
good answer it is just an assumption based on them never cleaning the
vents. I actually had noticed the vents were not being cleaned myself
the other day, but hell I reported the toilet seats slide sideways and a
latch is missing from the third door in the women's bathroom weeks ago
and nada. This does not mean there is mold of any kind in the vents and
they are all freaked out about something people on drugs are making up.
The reason people have lung infections is...HELLO...they smoke their
asses off, cigarettes, Spice, Pot etc., they are all packed together in a
place where hygiene is horrid, the place is filled with toxic chemicals
and idiots spray aerosol everywhere and those in charge do not
facilitate hand washing etc. and there is poor nutrition, people spit
all over and lack of health care. It is possible the vents are filled
with mold, but there is no evidence other than respiratory and allergy
symptoms and that could be secondary to many things. The main perp in
this story is a woman who incoherently goes on and on about being on the
transition team for the mayor and on and on trapping me several times
repeating the same crazy crap over and over. She doesn't make any sense.
They get angry when I say they have no proof of any mold and what makes
them think if there was mold it is even black. It's just nuts between
the staff and the "clients." Yes they should check the place for mold,
but no tangible evidence exists other than a tiny patch right now and
one I once saw in the shower room that was cleaned off and that was a
while back. This would be expected to occur. I'm having rather severe
allergy and chemical sensitivity symptoms with excoriated nares and nose
bleeds, but I think it is the chemicals including the episodes from
Lysol Woman that were allowed at both BFS and the Gospel Rescue Mission.
The mats we sleep on have toxic chemicals on them, this is why most
shelters have two blankets, one to separate the person from the mat. But
at BFS they generally have no blankets FFS.
By then there were
lots of us. People were angry and yelling before that. I called Lisa
Acquino's voice mail and just let people yell at her into the phone, “I
have cancer and I have a lot of pain", etc. At 9:45 PM I went through
the security check area. My suitcase is checked in at night so it is not
in the way and because it is nearly impossible to find a mat where it
would fit and also be secure. People put their things in the walking
areas so it is actually not even safe to go to the bathroom, I have
nearly fallen many times and fear I could fall on a frail person. Staff
doesn't clue in at all. I am dizzy to begin with and uncoordinated, also
people with ME/cfs have proprioceptor issues, I am surprised that I
don't fall, but I try very hard not to. I am not the only person with
this problem there are many who have balance issues which is very common
in older people. Before I check in the suitcase I usually go shower or
at least wash up. Nothing could be done at all. I had brushed my teeth
and flossed before I got there. Every night a mentally ill woman gets
all of her crap out and spreads it all over the sink counters making a
hell of a mess. Then there is backpack soaker #2 who stands and stares
at herself in the mirror for long periods, gets in the hand held shower
for up to 1.5 hours spraying water all over the place, women puking from
Spice, pregnancy and Providence Gruel. And a fun time was had by all.
Last week the person who was working the customer service area when
Patrick made us stay out past the time it closed is intelligent, not
chemically impaired and also a nice person, he kept it open for us
thwarting part of Patrick's plan, so I immediately checked the suitcase
in so that guy could go to bed, no shower. Patrick could have found
someone to open it last night by offering them something in exchange but
there are people who would do it just to be nice too. The lady who
worked there last night was in bed when I stopped to tell the women in
the dorm what had gone one. She said she would ask him if she could open
customer service back up. I told her that may result in her getting
into trouble. She is a nice person too and does extra things for people,
saving things they get for someone who is having a bad day thinking it
might cheer them up, body shampoo, a razor, a small unexpected gift.
They have all these crappy towels, she tries to find the nicest ones she
can for the women.
Patrick wanted to create a scenario where
someone probably me, he hoped would blow up and he could create drama,
bully, threaten, call APD, etc. I know exactly what he is and tell
people not to react to just write it up or he will escalate it and throw
them out, don't act out, that is what he wants so he can throw you out.
They love the drama of those incidents, Colt and Patrick would go
outside looking for people, usually Native to harass so they would get
angry and do something they could call the APD and have them arrested
for. Since I know what the evil bastard is up to I simply asked why he
left us out there for over an hour and now where am I supposed to sleep
with that suitcase since he left us outside until customer service
closed. He did this evil glare that he has and told me to just come in.
Patrick has this evil glare and I have what my old boss at the blood
bank called the Celia look. So we have had many glaring contests. I call
it looking into the eyes of evil. That evil is in a position of power
over vulnerable people and Catholic Social Services and the archbishop
need to be accountable for that.
This repeat of last week is when I
realized that Patrick like Colt is a psychopath, he lacks empathy and
compassion, he sets up scenarios to intentionally cause people to get
angry and blow up and he is sadistic. Patrick and Colt worked together a
long time perfecting these evil actions and harming large numbers of
people. I told him as I walked in what he did leaving us outside that
long was sadistic. He is a psychopath, he could care less and that kind
of comment means retaliation will come. It did.
I left Lisa Acquino I
think, eight voice mails last night. Then myself and other women waited
for them to put down more mats. I stood with my suitcase and backpack.
The group-w benches were there but when Patrick and Colt do their
bullying they would tell me I could not sit on them due to the people
who are eating the Providence Gruel needing to sit there, then other
times be angry that I was not sitting on it. That is how bullying works.
Really do people who house a large number of alcoholics not know there
is a subset who are sociopaths and hiring practices should involve some
kind of screening? Then when they begin being cruel and torture people
one might think firing them is appropriate, but at Catholic Social
Service they just hang onto them.
When they finally put down more
mats after 10 PM it was in the hallway of cigarette smoke. I am highly
allergic, but no one should be exposed to second hand smoke. There are
also people who walk by there talking etc. so you can't sleep when the
smoking area is opened anyway. As I found out confused people keep
trying to go out and smoke even when it is closed, toxic brains. By then
I was having runs of tachycardia and feeling really, really sick and of
course I was exhausted. I have not gotten over the Spice poisonings.
After putting newspaper on the floor me and my backpack sat down on the
cement floor. There is a guy who just lay down on the cement to sleep
right there as well and I found out later it is because he leaves for
work at 1 AM so doesn't bother with a mat.
A nice lady asked me why
I did not take on of the mats in the hall of cigarette smoke. When I
told her I was highly allergic she said they lock the cigarette area at
11 and don't open it until we get up. So I waited until 11 PM and wiped
down the mat that was open. It smelled like pee, so I wiped it more and
remember I have impaired smell, so it had to be strong. I think the pee
was inside, the row of disabled men has lots of peeing on mats and other
places. Urine is sterile but contains toxins, most of those pee-ers are
on meds too that would be in the urine. So finally I think well I won't
be able to get a blanket, I'll be cold but it will give me a pee
barrier so I'll ask for a sheet. I asked for one and was told there were
no more, none at all. The census is low and they don't even have a
fucking sheet. Later when the two monitors who were putting their hands
all over each other while on duty, etc. went to bed they had linens.
They let people steal the blankets and burn them in the dryers, they
have smoke coming off them when they put them in the bin. I am not
making this up, it is all true and there are a large number of
witnesses.
So now I go over where that guy is sleeping on the
cement, put down newspaper, put on my winter jacket, put my windbreaker
in a pillowcase to use as a pillow and lay down on the cement floor. It
was not too long before I was shivering. I would have been shivering on a
mat without a blanket too. They have these air blowers that blow cold
air all night. I'm hypothyroid and have I.C. and ME/cfs which both cause
chills. When others are hot I'm cold. Hashimotos can be hyperthyroid or
hypothyroid, when I was in Nome it was hyperthyroid and when others
were cold I was warm and toasty. I just had no idea why due to lack of
proper lab work ordering.
Night shift comes on at about 12:30 PM. I
am on the cement floor. BTW when I lay down I said to the guy already
sleeping on the floor, you and I are going to be sleeping together
tonight, LOL. He said, just don't snore and I said OK as long as you
don't start farting. Then not too long after that this sweet tennis
playing Aspie man moves his mat across from us out of the men's area. It
could have been the autistic intolerance to noise or the fact that
people like to bully him. So one of the night people comes in and looks
at us all like WTF and I just shake my head. Then Anthony talks to
Cambria who is in charge clearly about the situation. I am sure Patrick
told them some false story about what went on. So while I was laying
there someone put another mat in the hall of cigarette smoke that did
not smell like pee, but I did not know and it was in a second outer row
which would make my suitcase a hindrance to W/Cs, walkers and
ambulators. But Cambria said just put it against the wall across from
the mat as the smoking area is closed, but as I found out confused
people still tried to go out there. One ran his W/C over my shoe as I
was trying to get up. Then because he was having trouble he got a woman
with some intellectual issues to push him and she ran over someone's
foot and rammed someone and people are crabby around there early in the
morning. It is hard to be in a W/C in such a crowded place, especially
with paralysis or something that makes maneuvering difficult. They have
nowhere to really even park sometimes, hell sometimes ambulatory people
hardly have a place to stand.
I wiped down that mat which was much
cleaner than the other one and looked around at the other women. Not a
damn one of them had a blanket or sheet. I have on my winter jacket, but
I am freezing. Cambria said she was looking around for blankets and
sheets. I did not expect any to be found. I went to take an I.C. pee and
when I came back a unusual coverlet was on my mat. I had to sleep
directly on the mat which is cleaned with toxic chemicals, but I was
warm. So Cambria was compassionate. I asked her where in the hell do
they find employees in reference to Colt and Patrick. She said she was a
kindergarten teacher. My brain can't even comprehend that and I just
couldn't even respond. So I slept from probably 1:45 AM and was awakened
a couple times until they woke us at 6 AM (weekdays 5 AM, weekends 6
AM) I gave Cambria the coverlet as it clearly did not belong in the
regular wash.
I was facing the smoking area which is on the other
side of a glass door with a glass wall on the other side. Right up
against the glass on the outside was a person lying on the ground with
their walker parked right next to them. On the left was a small person
curled up on the ground. This scenario after what had already happened
made me really sad, but I was so exhausted I could not even cry. I am so
angry at how people are treated in this city and state.
I
mentioned I left Lisa Acquino 8 voice mails, well now it's 9. She tells
me the problems will be taken care of over and over, she lies. Who is in
control of BFS? No one, but psychopaths and bullies and that is why we
call it BSS for Bull Shit Shelter.
I saw my friend Chris standing
inside looking out at us last night and was glad he did not get
aggressive trying to get them to let us in because he would just get
harmed himself. That last false sanction he found out contained a lie
told by the supervisor. She was trained by Colt.
People will
probably wonder why the other staff do not do anything about the
psychopaths harming people or why do the client monitors do not say
anything. Well some of them have some intellectual issues, are
co-dependent which causes issues in this kind of situation and some have
personality disorders but those of us familiar with mobbing scenarios
such as workplace bullying know why. They are afraid if they go against
the bully they will be the next target, they may like the position they
are in and do not want to lose it also. At BFS there is the added
factor of people who were never in a position of power who don't
understand what abusing it is. They do not know right from wrong or
understand rights and they just go along to get along. I doubt many of
them even go to higher ups to report the abuse.
I had conversations
with monitors who are actually clients such as being told they are
really good to us. I said that is not true. When I complained that
customer service was closed due to us being kept outside more than an
hour he said, "First of all customer service closed at 9 PM." "No it
closes at 9:30", I said. He kept on about 9 PM and I kept trying to
orient him to reality, “I wait every night with my suitcase for them to
put mats down so I don't have to carry my stuff around, it has to be
checked in by 9:30 PM." The people back there get my paperwork and label
all ready early due to me turning it in at the last minute. This guy is
a monitor but has no idea how things even work at the shelter. But
let's say customer service did close at his wrong time of 9 PM, we got
there at 8:30 PM, we would have had enough time to check our stuff in.
These kinds of constant crazy conversations with people at the shelter
are getting really old. "No that is not true" should be on a tee shirt
for me to put on when I come in every day. Then they participated in
bullying me showing who they are.
*Remember discrimination based on disability this AM.
When they put out the senior/disabled chairs this morning the guy
yelled that chairs were only for canes, crutches etc. I stated loudly
that was discrimination based on disability. He said they needed them
more and I said there are other disabilities that need chairs without
gear and many of those people don't need that stuff they just have it to
avoid the ignorance. Told them I am going to the Human Rights
Commission which I will but they will have some excuse why they can't
deal with non-profits, what-cha-wana-bet. They discriminate and create
classes within the shelter, it is so sick.
Last week I told Lisa
Acquino I am going to sue them. I called Providence Hospital and asked
why I have not been contacted about the results of having the crazy
diagnosis removed from my records. She said it was done, but she does
not known the results. I told her my records have so many fraudulent
entries, misdiagnoses etc. that there is not enough paper to file to
have it all removed and if I did there wouldn't be anything left and
that is the absolute truth. It is so hard to believe, "normal rhythm",
but I was not on a monitor, no blood in my urine she never saw my urine
nor was a UA done so how the hell did she know, I have I.C. there is
always blood, but it is not significant, leaving out the main reason for
the ER visit and most of the symptoms, a symptom for a diagnosis, the
nurse that did a great deal of the falsification of my records chasing
me down the hall and accusing me of stealing hand gel, putting what Colt
said in the records, that crazy ass LPC who told me to get a job at
Walmart and on and on. Alaska is a really fucked up place.
So this
is what I got for my birthday, severe abuse which is actually a kind of
domestic violence. Patrick should have been fired long ago.
August 9th 2015:
I was in a state yesterday due to the abuse the night before from a cunt
named Patrick, one of Catholic Social Services’ sociopaths. Apparently I
still am if I’m using the C-word. Last night I went back to the shelter
earlier hoping to avoid the long wait and crazy, perhaps there would
still be blankets. There is also a woman who brings soup on Saturday
evening which I will eat, it’s the only thing they ever have I will
touch besides coffee. So waiting with a bunch of other people for a long
time again. The soup lady shows up with her van, unloads the soup, it
gets served. People are wondering if we will get in on time, I say nope
they are doing the same thing as Patrick and that means this waiting for
long periods is coming from higher ups. I have long suspected that Lisa
Caldiera has some pathology and they did take the Inhouse program from
her due to favoritism and retaliation just to give you a clue, she is
the mis-director of the shelter. She refuses to meet with me because
people like her do not function in the truth, there is no way she could
win an argument with me. Also I write incident reports saying she should
be fired, burn in hell, what the hell is wrong with you, that she and
others are disgusting, etc. By the time we got in the shelter the soup
lady was packing up. While we waited Anthony was sitting there eating
soup. I’m not starving, but some of the people who were waiting had not
eaten in quite a while. Isn’t feeding people dinner supposed to be part
of the fucked up mission of Bull Shit Shelter? The two people who were
on are not bullies, but they work in a system designed to bully, to
discriminate against women, to discriminate against certain types of
disabilities and that does not give one shit about the homeless. Since
they don’t give one shit obviously why in hell are they running the
shelter?
As I came in I said to the guy checking us in, James that
obviously this abuse of leaving us outside is not just Patrick it is
clearly a policy coming from higher ups. That I came in early to eat
soup etc., that some of the people waiting were very hungry and yes
there would still be Providence Gruel later, but it will not be hot nor
even safe to eat and we stood there while they gave out the soup, staff
ate some and were let in as the soup lady was getting ready to leave. No
response, but James is a very quiet man.
I got a mat in the
library. Only the library which is about 17 mats was down at this point.
I was told there were not any blankets, they were all put in the
library and they would put more out later. I went to look and there were
3 blankets in there. So I go to ask Anthony, paid staff WTH!? Where are
the blankets? He was confused and had no idea. The monitor who was on
is a huge problem and a sick game player, so I believe this was a
bullying tactic against me. I had a sheet and they now call sheets
blankets at BFS, pretending is what they do best and telling lies to
agencies and news media is part of that. They even serve pretend soup
which is why we all love the soup lady. I got a bottom sheet, they use
anything and everything.
Then I managed to take a shower without
incident, it was a birthday miracle. We discussed the fact that the
shelter is deteriorating and getting more and more insane. They hired a
new program manager who was at Beans Café where they treat people like
garbage, so I imagine she is creating this chaos but who knows which
level of hell it is coming from. All Catholic Social Services is capable
of is fucking things up more when people complain, but mostly they
ignore the complaints. They took people off the inhouse program
yesterday and some were very upset and crying. It’s constant abuse and
chaos. Of course I do not know the whole stories or both sides, but the
place is run by lack of rules, so if people don’t follow the rules that
is actually how things are done. That means they don’t know what the
hell to do. I follow the rules, but today I am going to break a general
homeless shelter rule and go buy my own fucking blanket. What the hell
else can I do?
Lisa Caldeira and Lisa Acquino have known about the
problem with the blankets for a long time. No action has been taken.
They make people sign in and out towels, but not blankets. The blankets
are taken out of the shelter in large amounts, they even stand there and
watch people leave with them. That is not the only problem, it is clear
they are being horded by some people and handed out using favoritism.
It isn’t that they actually ran out of blankets it is that they withheld
them last night. Who did that? And why were the two supervisors not
aware of what went on? Who the hell is in charge? Those who get a little
power do inappropriate things and get away with it over and over and
over.
Having been told there were no blankets I found it odd that a
woman showed up with one. I asked her where she got it and she said her
friend gave it to her, “you have to know someone to get a blanket.”
Really? So I go tell this to Anthony who is really busy and has already
said he will try to figure out what happened to the blankets. When I
tried to talk to the supervisors they had a caution tape in front of the
desk I had to stand behind and then a monitor screamed at me to get
behind the yellow line. I pointed at the caution tape and said I was
behind it. No he meant another yellow line getting me completely away
from the desk. That is how they treat people. He asked me who she was
and I said I don’t know her name, but it’s that really obnoxious one. He
knew who I was talking about. She use to hang around the desk bothering
him and eating snacks all over the place so while I was in the shower
room and did not see everything I doubt he asked her about the blanket
she got. I said to him, this place is being operated like a prison,
there are underground systems being operated. Who is in charge of this
place? I called Lisa Acquino and left her a message about this and of
course she will not do a damn thing about it, but make some inane
statement or lie. I was not having chills last night and it was pretty
warm so I was fine. Others were not. They ran out of sheets again and
many women had to sleep directly on the toxic, filthy mats with no
covers. I can’t begin to describe how angry I am. It is always the
women, always the later women. Even someone in the library did not get a
sheet, the itchy feet caused by witches lady. She tries to sleep next
to me every night because I don’t get upset by all of her plastic
covered stuff she has to get in place. I felt really bad about here not
getting a sheet but there is nothing I could do. She BTW was the only
one in the front area even concerned about me the night I went to the
ER.
Brother Francis Shelter is an emergency situation. The governor
needs to declare it a disaster, the people need to be removed to a safe
area and then they need to call in a demolition crew to blow the fucker
up. Every administration person needs to be fired. Anthony, James,
Cambria and the older lady on nights are just caught in a sick, sick,
bullying system of complete and utter bullshit that has been allowed to
fester until pus is oozing from every crack. They have all done wrong
things because they are required to, it is SOP due to idiots and
assholes running the place. Patrick is a psychopath. The Archbishop
needs to be removed from his position and take the evil bitchwoman who
answers his phone with him.
Word is the only reason Colt was fired
was the staff was revolting and refusing to work with him. So fuck Lisa
Acquino and her lies, she doesn’t give a damn about the homeless people
in Anchorage. Oh the acting, they should all be nominated for Academy
Awards.
A reliable source said staff told him last night we are
being held outside between 7:30 PM and 9PM so they can supervise the
chores getting done. There are two of them and they generally sit in
chairs at the desk chatting, eating, laughing. OK whoever made that
decision has not informed the clients and it is clearly inappropriate,
abusive and demonstrates who those running the shelter are. There are
two of them there is no reason they can’t check people in and supervise
chores. Really, this is how they think people should be treated. They
serve the Providence Gruel for the regular people at 8 PM, there is a
cast system at Bull Shit Shelter. If they need staff to supervise the
chores they need to hire one, not abuse homeless people. Assholes.
This morning August 10th 2015:
From last night:
Spent some time looking for a blanket that would
fit in my suitcase, mostly they have those fluffy ones and to use as a
cover on the mat and then enough to go over me it has to be at least
double size. So they don’t fit. It is not good to bring your own blanket
to a shelter for lots of reasons, but really sick of the shit and they
run out.
It is Sunday so the buses do not run very late, that means
going back to the shelter early and it is raining so walking would suck
with the backpack and suitcase. I requested a blanket right after
arriving and was told they are locking up blankets. She tells me they
are stealing them so they are locked up. Really? They have known this
was going on for a very long time and I informed Lisa Acquino a long
time ago, well actually more than once and I tell people all over the
place about it. People just walked in the little storage room and
grabbed them or stuck them in their bags or backpacks and walked out,
employees were standing there when it happened sometimes. Specific cases
were reported with no action. There were women who had three blankets
on their mats. They did nothing. So they allowed the situation we have
now, a blanket shortage and even a sheet shortage and women are going
without either having to sleep on the bare mats. I am so angry about how
thing are done here in hell, is Satan on vacation, he needs to
straighten out his demons.
When I told Amber after she said they
were locking them up that they are putting the blanket in their bags and
walking out I meant once they are given out there is no check and
balance in place to make sure they stay in the shelter. In other words
just because they are locked up does not mean they will not be stolen. I
got a snarky remark, “Thanks for telling me I would have never figured
that out.” Well just like killing people at the DOC, drunken public
defenders, lying prosecutors, horrible health care and on and on no one
is listening until the situation becomes extremely grave. They let them
steal the blankets knowing it was happening. Why? They all allowed this
to happen while myself and there had to be others told you about the
problem.
So after 7 PM I asked again and actually got one and they
were locked up. Remember when I was asking for them in the past-begging
for blankets- and told I had to wait, be patient over and over while
others just went in the back an took them. I would tell Colt or Patrick
there were elderly women saying they were cold with no blankets in the
library and a mentally ill woman crying because she was sure they were
not giving us blankets that night. Then they would pass out blankets and
sheets as they put out the other mats and make us wait until last,
because psychopath is as psychopath does. I told Lisa Acquino people
were just going and getting them and said I would not go back there
myself because it was the wrong thing to do. People kept telling me to
just go get one. Instead I practiced begging for blankets to force them
to do what they should. Now I know that is impossible. Brother Francis
Shelter needs to be nuked from space and a new shelter built. The
Archbishop needs to be run out of town on a rail and let’s not forget
the tar and feathers.
So my friend Chris offered to put the blanket
in his locker. I said, is it clean or is it a man-locker? He said it
was clean and it did not look to bad. As it turned out blankets are not
allowed in lockers, but the lockers are full of them and have been a
long time. The rules only apply to certain people. The people with
lockers belong to upper caste here at BFS, apparently the Catholics are
big believers in maintaining a caste system. Those in the upper caste
believe they should be very comfortable so they snatch up all the
blankets and other things. Disabled, the mentally ill and seniors can
suck it. Apparently locker owners are not supposed to put someone else’s
stuff in their locker. I did not know those were the rules, if I did
the blanket would not have gone in the locker. Since people put other
people’s things in their lockers all the time why would I think it was a
problem? I told her we did not put it in there to steal it. I just have
all this stuff so it’s hard to hang onto it all and I needed to shower
which never happened, but I tried. I told her if I had known these were
the rules I would not have put it in there. Anyone who knows me knows
have I personality characteristics which cause me to always attempt to
do the right thing. I attempt to and yes sometimes doing the right thing
is against the rules, especially in hell but trying to keep the
blankets from being stolen…finally…is something I agree with. But BFS
always regresses it will not last long. Amber would have never noticed,
someone told her. Probably a someone who breaks rules intentionally and
wants to cause trouble for Chris or I. Chris BTW has been a Zimbardo
hero, going to the desk when they make us stay outside and trying to get
them to let us in at risk to himself. He was retaliated against and
lied about.
So the good thing about coming back early is I can watch what happens between 7:30 PM and 9 PM. That is one crazy policy.
This morning sitting in the senior/disabled area:
Well between 7:30 PM and 9 PM they let people in often even in small
groups not too long after they had arrived. Why did I and others have to
stand outside for an hour and then over an hour. What was the
difference? Why are people treated like that any day? My peripheral
neuropathy is now quite severe between that and the cleaning chemical
exposure. Thanks assholes.
They have removed all these women who
were in an upper caste program so they have to sleep out here with us
lower caste people. Oh the drama! They have chore programs here and
disabled and elderly are separated into a lower caste system. The upper
class get the beds in the back, more privileges, can stay in the shelter
more during the day, some get to eat earlier than everyone else. The
elderly and those with physical disabilities have to get on the floor on
a mat. You get the picture. I have mentioned the clique in the back and
not being able to even talk to a case manager over a long period of
time about their “programs.” I would rather be in the lower class than
exposed to female cliques, who has time for that kind of bullshit oh and
the bedbugs and all their shit pilled all over the place. No thanks.
Last night I tried to shower 4 times, waited around with my crap and
then tried again. Then they put mats down and I got one in the library
and then waited for them to clean the bathroom. I went to check on their
progress and found they were not cleaning it and some evicted prima
donnas from the back are showering. So I go to ask Amber when they are
cleaning the bathroom because I can’t be in there when they spray the
chemicals. I wait by the desk. She acknowledges me, I come forward, you
know because that is how dogs are treated. Before I can talk she turns
to check someone in. Well it’s nice that they are actually checking
people in instead of torturing them, but what the hell. Then she ignores
me. So I move away to wait for her to get done. Then someone walks
right up and she talks to them. I throw my arms in the air and go in to
use the toilet, fuck showering. What a wasted large amount of time just
trying to take a fucking shower after the wasted time and energy to get a
fucking blanket. So I’m sitting on the toilet and I hear the squirt
bottles and then the chemical taste in my mouth. I get out as soon as I
can. Every time I think I can’t be any more livid they get worse and I
am more angry. So today I have a head ache, a horrid taste in my mouth
and I’m dizzier than before. Thanks assholes from hell.
Then there
was the drama of the evicted prima donnas freaking out about their mats
being on the dirty floor. Oh the humanity! Try doing this every day. How
could they possibly be expected to sleep among the lower class. This
crap and the bedbugs is why I don’t want back there. I don’t know the
issues, but doubt they are new whatever they are, but why evict so many
of them at one time, it causes problems for those of us in the lower
class, we have a hard enough time as it is. Having to deal with the sick
staff of BFS who manages the programs and uses their position of power
to retaliate and play games is another reason to stay away from their
programs. I have been harmed enough by these assholes. Hell just trying
to get an extension can be near impossible.
The shelter had a
higher census last night due to the rain. When I went in there to pee
last night the jail boats were pretty much covered. That is unusual.
When I woke up some woman had stacked the mats of the women who had
left already in front of my mat and I had the glass wall on the other
side. This is what happens in a shelter that uses people with dementia
to do all the work unsupervised.
On 8/3/15 I came to the shelter to
meet with a case manager due to having been given a notice I had to. He
had no idea why and neither did I. It possibly could have been due to 30
days out coming up and a need for an extension, but who knows. So I was
supposed to get on a plane before it was up so we weighed my suitcase
instead. That was the day I got exposed to Spice. Then the program
manager told me a couple days later she would take care of it, then
again I was told the 30 days out BS. I told someone she would not take
care of it and she did not. They never ever do what they say. If someone
says something is going to happen I expect the opposite. Then I called
Brad who said he could extend by our phone conversation and lasti night
I’m told the 30 days out BS again. What in the hell? The last time I
needed an extension there was a problem and Lisa Caldeira called it a
glitch. These are the glitch-iest people on the planet. After the Spice
exposure I nearly have a panic attack approaching the gates to hell
every day. Why should I have to do that twice?
This morning in the
senior and disabled line for chairs an asshole jumped in front of me
again as I was going to sit down. They don’t wait in line and then run
in to take them as they are being passed out. The monitor was informed
that it happened and who it was. Nothing was done. This is a continual
problem along with the discrimination based on disability that occurs
often including yesterday.
Will be going to the Human Rights
Commission again, not that their chief investigator and lie-yer Brooke
Browning Alowa will take care of any problems I am involved with. Oh no,
don’t get me started…too late. She helped set up my wrongful
imprisonment and knew what would happen to my property and cat. Then she
sent me an email that said she was tired of hearing about my “frickin
cat” because she is evil. This is why she was made a magistrate and then
appointed to be chief investigator at the Human Rights Commission. But
her emails helped prove the hacking of my email account by Parnell’s
administration to protect his and the Wasilla Wendigo’s asses because
the Public Pretenders just threw all the paperwork together without even
checking it for my FOIA request. I got all kinds of stuff including
documents from other people’s cases, pen pal letters and shopping lists.
Ass covering email deletion had occurred, but due to their chaos it was
not complete and there was other proof. The deletions were probably
done by individuals perhaps in a drunken blackout, who could imagine a
besotted public defender allowed to perform their main mission,
subversion of due process. But then I digressed once again.
I have
Interstitial cystitis and needed to pee really bad this morning. Instead
I waited in line for a chair and then someone stole one from me, I did
get one after that. I am so dizzy from the cleaning chemicals last night
and the peripheral neuropathy is so bad I have become very
uncoordinated. After all the issues last night I just can’t go back in
that bathroom this morning, hope I don’t pee myself on the bus, but then
that would just make me fit in better. When I went in the library last
night I fell, but it was fortunately next to my mat so no problems
occurred and it was forward so I caught myself. I am approaching the
symptoms I had in Homer that looked like MS which means my brain lesions
have probably expanded. Thanks Obama, LOL. There is no health care and
even if there was they would misdiagnose me.
As I left this morning
with my bladder pain, my osteoarthritis pain, my headache, my tinnitus,
my nausea, my dizziness, the numbness, tingling and pain in my
extremities and face due to peripheral neuropathy, my sore throat, my
respiratory and sinus symptoms, my heavy backpack and then grabbed the
suitcase on my way out as I began yelling, “Leaving hell” several times.
Then as I approached the door I yelled, “Approaching the gates of
hell”, then “Going through the gates of hell.” LOL Chris came up with
“the gates of hell” yesterday.
On the bus out of hell this morning
a woman was laughing and texting everything myself and another resident
of hell were talking about. I was telling him the leaving hell thing I
did, how the prima donnas took over the bathroom and how I have to ask
for an extension once again as they can’t do anything they say they will
do making me come back to hell and waste my energy and time today. If I
am exposed to Spice again…no jury would convict me.
Can’t send any more voice mails to Acquino, wonder who could have filled up her voice mail.
The article in the Dispatch about the video of the murder of Davon
Mosley by the DOC has triggered my PTSD even more. The settlement was
done so the video would not be released. That allows to DOC to cover up
their murders and abuse. I am so pissed as I wrote for years they were
killing and torturing people completely ignored. The state of Alaska was
on my blog on Sunday, it’s usually just M-F along with federal
agencies, stop reading and do something about this third world oligarchy called Alaska.