Part 1, part 3, part 4.
Almost a year ago I went on my monthly visit to see my P.O. in Kenai. Since it was expensive for me to go from Soldotna to Kenai and back and I had to have a huge amount of dental work done I decided to try to schedule both the dental appointments and probation officer visit on the same day.
Here is an email I sent to a friend about that experience in April of 2010:
No, I am on probation and can't leave until 9/21/2011 and I have legal stuff that may not be over by then. I have launched complaints about what has been going on with my probation officer. He has been threatening me, "Do you know what we could do to you?" Saying that to a person who has been wrongfully arrested and imprisoned has a clearly known affect. I really did not think he would do such a thing, but I now do not trust him at all. My PTSD has flared up and I can't sleep at night again. It causes the CFIDS/ME to flare up. I cry everyday. I am just fine when I can stay away from these bastards that work for the Department of Corrections. Then a month before my last visit I told him I had a dental appointment on a particular day and I would like his appointment the same day if possible so I did not have to pay for two taxi rides. I wanted to go after the dental appointment as they are always late and I have waited as long as 45 minutes. He wanted me to go the hour before and I told him I could not be late and it would take me twenty minutes to walk over there. He said, no problem "I'll have you out of there in 15 minutes." I reiterated I had to leave twenty minutes before my appointment and he again said no problem.
I go to the appointment and waited 25 minutes, then I went to the window and told the girl I needed to leave in 15 minutes. First she bites my head off and tells me I was supposed to tell them when I had been waiting 15 minutes. I did not do that because past experience tells me there is no response to it. She tells me I have to wait. I tell her arrangements have been made and he knows why I have to leave. She tells me he is not there and tried to make out like it's some kind of official business. She then tells me I have to call him and hands me a card. I then say that I was there on time and he knows he missed the appointment, that all I will get is voice mail, so he should call me. She is then pissed and gets snotty. I ask to talk to the supervisor which I had been doing for weeks to no avail. He tells her I can't leave until I talk to my probation officer. I am pissed and suddenly my probation officer appears, isn't that amazing. We get in an argument in the hallway and he lies and tells me he did not remember my appointment. Later he told me I got loud, yea I probably did. Then I am in his office and he starts acting like an ass. He insists on getting the phone number from me so he can call the dental office like I am lying about it. What my possible reason for doing this is, I can't fathom. I told him I had already called, but if he wanted to call them feel free. He then insisted on the address because, "they had to know where I was". Why, they don't know where I am any other time? I told him all I had was the P.O. box number from the bill, I did not know the street name, but people in Kenai know about Aspen dental clinic. He could call them for the address. He then makes me tell him the route I would take to walk over there. I kid you not. He then lets me go, but I have to go right back after my appointment. Somewhere in this conversation I tell him they are acting like jackasses, then he screams at me that, "you don't talk to us like that."
When I get to the dental clinic I am upset and call the director of the department of probation, Donna White and start to tell her the story, including the part where I call them jackasses, but they call me for the appointment. I get an estimate of the work which is about $7500. I have one necrotic tooth and another that needs a root canal. I am pissed because if I had not been wrongfully incarcerated and put through all the hell I have been through in this state my teeth would not need all of this work. I would have never had a root canal. I would have never had a bill which on my disability will take years to pay off. Then on top of all of this I have them treat me not only abusively, but totally illogically. Why I was surprised that a division of the DOC would be abusive after what I have been through I do not know. After hearing the story the dental clinic put me in the CARTS program so I can afford to go get the work done more often and not have to worry about coordinating with the probation office. Clearly that was a huge mistake.
I go back armed with the bill for proof I was there which is just absolutely ridiculous seeing as I told him the month before about the appointment. He has no reason what-so-ever to not believe me for any reason. He says to me, "You came back", like he was surprised. I realize this is one of the techniques they use to get offenders to not come to their appointments so they can arrest them and put them in prison. I said to him, "Of course, I always do what I say I will." Now his demeanor has changed from earlier and he tells me he has been without a vehicle and he was at the garage talking to the mechanic and it went too long, this is why he was not there. Now I am even more pissed. He tells me he told the girl out front to let me leave after 15 minutes and she must have gotten her wires crossed. This is after he had already told me he forgot about the appointment. Now I am even more angry. If he had called and said I can't make the appointment and asked me to come later, no problem, even if it was personal business. If after I got there they had asked me to come back later, no problem. I just needed to go to my appointment. This was just plain old abuse and disrespect. DOC practices abuse of offenders just because they think they have a right to, it is a violation of the 8th amendment. Now because I am upset he whips out forms for me to sign so he can get my mental health records. I explain they already have those forms that I signed over a year ago. He wants me to go to counseling after I told him my saga of years of trying to get counseling in this damn state, even moving, it's impossible. I found someone in Anchorage, but could not find a decent place to live there. While he fills out one of the forms he checks the sex offender box. I then get extremely upset and start crying. That was it for me. He did cross out that box, but would have left it if I had not gotten upset. I had good experiences in the Kenai office in the past and never thought this would happen. It is time to blog about this. Somewhere in this meeting I told him I called Donna White and told her I said they were acting like jackasses. He then stated that would not make them happy.
I called the area supervisor the next day and told her the story, including calling them jackasses(the nicest thing I could come up with at the time). I told her that I had to be the lowest risk person they had, so what the hell! The DOC posts false policies on line so the public thinks they are doing what they are constitutionally supposed to do. The probation department has a call in program on their site. When I asked since I have pretty much no risk of committing any offenses(except J-walking) why am I not in this program. She tells me it isn't really being used. Surprise, surprise, surprise.
Now today they came for a home visit, because I told the supervisor he was always saying he was coming, but never did. They would not take off their shoes because they said they never knew what kind of situation they would be getting into. More disrespect. I really think they could kick my ass with their shoes off. I was in my night gown and it was the only day I can remember I did not make my bed, of course after being here several months without them coming for a visit they would show up today. I just have been very upset and am having trouble sleeping. The probation department in Alaska is geared towards sending as many people as they can back to prison and I have already been wrongfully imprisoned due to prosecutorial malfeasance. I have told my story and I am sure they think retaliation is in order. I told the supervisor I was not having a conversation with anyone in that office without recording it because I am not putting up with anymore denials of things said and it will also decrease the abuse. She told me I had to inform them if I did. I told her I had just informed their supervisor and I would inform them. I finally did that with that alcoholic public defender I had.
This is all for a monthly meeting that has no point to it. When I first started on probation my conditions were one thing according to the documents I was given. Then after more than a year of probation they tell me something else is in the conditions. Now, that particular thing was something I requested them to do and they refused. Yes, I wanted it and they would not do it, now they are requiring it. The paperwork they showed me from Nome had a date which shows they got it on their paperwork yet it was not on mine. My issue with it was lack of trust of the agency and wondering if they were using it to try and manufacture a reason to send me to prison. It is a wonder more people don't just run from the state. If they have people who are severely mentally ill they won't be able to stand this. Also young people will be terrified and may start drinking and using before the meeting and then just not go which will result in them being arrested. Many people will refuse probation and serve their full sentence in Alaska because they can't take the probation department. This is so sad.
There were other issues during this time, but this was the worst. A week before appointments with the department of probation I start having trouble sleeping and become depressed. I never know if the meeting will be OK or there will be some kind of threatening posture by the P.O. I also have no idea what else could be going on to influence them or even set me up for arrest. Not only have they shown they are retaliatory, but because I have been outspoken about other agencies in Alaska they may be influencing them. Having them come to my apartment is very scary, they could plant something. Remember, there was an incident where they tried to get me to buy drugs in Nome. It didn't work because I was not what they had been told by the serial bullies.
I rarely even leave my apartment now. I go to appointments or to get groceries, etc. I stay away from people because I am afraid one of these horrible people like so many I have come into contact with in Alaska will make false accusations against me. It would be one thing if I lived somewhere law enforcement investigated facts, the prosecutors based cases on findings of facts and judges even had common sense, but this is Alaska. The Department of Probation has terrorized me for years and it has all been totally uncalled-for.
After this incident I was informed I was being placed on minimal supervision. I only had to see them every three months and also mail them monthly reports. During the three months between visits I got a lot healthier and was able to get on a sleeping routine that was a lot healthier as well. I felt safer and much more comfortable in the world. I felt as if those in charge of the DOP had listened to me and were implementing changes. I did not blog about any of this and even said some nice things about them. My P.O. stopped saying threatening things to me. He did however piss me off one day by asking me if I was still “feeling paranoid”. This just goes to show how little they know about mental health. With PTSD people have hypervigilence which is behavior to protect themselves from further trauma and it is well warranted with the DOP. They traumatized me, increased my hypervigilence, then asked me if I was feeling paranoid, un-f-ing-believable. Anyone who has PTSD knows having it triggered over and over during a long period of time is like living in Hell. I believe this was the main goal.
If just one person at the DOP had any humanity or cared at all about me as a human being I would not have been traumatized that day. The biggest problem at the Kenai Adult Probation office is Ruben Foster the supervisor. Those under him have to do what he says. These people know I have PTSD. The probation officer who said those abusive things to me is supposed to be the mental health officer. Ruben Foster also knows I have PTSD he just decided he would not let me go to my appointment that day because of something I said.
From an email I sent Foster Jan. of 2010:
This is the typical DOC techniques of treating people like they are not worth anything and then wondering why they re-offend. The difference with me is I do know I am a valuable person, that I have civil rights, and have a great deal of knowledge about how flawed the DOC in Alaska is.
End of part two.